Lonesome Dove

Yesterday was much like any other day.  Except that I found my white board and made my list.  Actually started working on 2008 taxes!  When I say "working on" what I mean is running the balance sheet from the program-from-hell that was used for our business.  It is marketed as a user friendly software package specifically for the trucking industry.  Well, if you have an accounting background, understand double entry accounting and know how to verify that what you have input truly balances (no trial balance available yet.....4 years later!)....then it is perfect!  I grew very tired of hearing them tell me that my errors were "operator errors" only to provide them solid proof of their errors, which resulted in new releases for the benefit of everyone.  GRRRRRR.  Anyway, that is the main reason I have not finished 2008 taxes.  With six employees, there is a lot of stuff to go through.  Have I mentioned lately how much I hate taxes?

As I was saying, yesterday was moving along like any other (recent) day.  I went to the bank and while sitting there I remember counting on my fingers how many months it has been since Wade died.  Hmmm....six months already.

Yesterday was a lot like any other day, except that Wade's brother began his first trip running his new business.  He is a truck driver as well and Wade had always encouraged him to become his own boss and get his own operating authority.  When I shut down the business, I made the authority a voluntary revocation with the intent of giving it to his brother.  Wade would have wanted that.  I've helped him with all of the legal aspects, compliance issues, record keeping, customers, etc.  I helped him get everything in order so he can be his own boss, like Wade would have wanted.  Yesterday was his first trip.

Yesterday I found out that Wade's 90 year old grandmother was in intensive care.  She was having difficulty breathing and was rushed to the hospital.  I don't know how his mother is going to handle one more loss if she doesn't pull through this.

Yesterday was a first for me as well.  Wade had a way of going into the kitchen when we would say there is nothing to eat, and put together a feast.  He got this talent from his father.  Anyway, I channeled Wade last night and made a nice dinner from odds and ends.  I had some chicken breast, MexiCorn, stewed tomatoes, cheese and corn tortillas.  It turned out like a Mexican lasagna and was quite tasty too!  I need to tweak the recipe to make it fit together better and be a little more presentable, but we ate it.  And did I mention it was good?

Yesterday my daughter came home from work and had been crying.  She said it was a bad day.  I finally got her to talk to me about what was going on.  She's a very strong person and not much gets under her skin.  She said she had struggled all day with her college classes and teaching at the high school and trying to remain composed.  Finally, on her way home she was able to let it all out.

Yesterday was the six month anniversary of Wade's death.  I almost made it through the entire day without even realizing it!  My daughter and I hugged and cried together and talked about how unfair it all was.

Yesterday I hugged my pillow a little tighter when I finally layed down to sleep.