The first holiday is over and there are only two more before this year becomes a bad memory. I did cook the traditional dinner for Thanksgiving, attended by my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, my sister and two of my daughters. A girl's event, if you will. I only cried three times during the whole event. The first time was while I was peeling eggs; Wade would always sneak up behind me while I had my hands in the sink and sneak a grope, or snuggle my ear or maybe a little tickle. It was a tradition of sorts. It made me sad to think he will never do that again. Perhaps one day I will smile at the memory, but right now, it makes me cry. Even now as I type this. The next time I cried was after I was trying to "teach" my youngest daughter (age 20) about the proper handling of poultry. She and I seem to miscommunicate during these exchanges and they end up in a fight. That made me cry. Then later that night while everyone was watching a movie, I stepped outside by myself and had a good cry just because I missed him so very, very much.
All in all, it was a good time by all. No one got sick, so I guess I cooked the turkey correctly. But as for carving the bird, I wish I had paid more attention over the years. I swear I heard him laughing.
Now onto Christmas. I'm thinking a cruise is in order. And if I can pull it off, it just might cover New Years Eve as well.
i understand how hard it was for you and i'm sorry. i hate it when people write, "there's nothing to do but get through it," but it's true. there is nothing anyone can say or do. and you did get through it. i am glad you let yourself cry. i believe it's healthy to allow the tears to flow. and as for hearing him laughing at the carving of the bird, that's a good sign.
i know of a couple of other widows who have the option of getting away for Christmas. if it is what you wish, i hope you can.
abandonedsouls said...
December 4, 2009 at 12:55 PM
Thanks lady. I have tried on so many occasions to leave comments on your site, but it never works. I'm not sure what I am doing different there than on other blogs, but know that I am thinking of you and hoping you are well. I think about you every day.
Lonesome Dove said...
December 4, 2009 at 3:27 PM
I agree with wNs, tears are healing and just like water, they will find their way ... there is no stopping them. It's always the little things, like peeling eggs, that get to us the most <3 Like you I can't wait for this awful miserable year to be over. Sending you love xx
Boo said...
December 4, 2009 at 4:04 PM