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Busting Out

Its been said that there are several events in one's life that create a great deal of stress.  Death of a spouse would certainly rank at the top of the list.....check
Losing a job......check
Change in financial situation....check. 
Children leaving home.....check.
Relocating.....check.

Yep, the house is sold.  And it is breaking my heart.  This home has so very much of Wade in it, everywhere I look I see his handy work.  I remember every single project that we did together.  I've looked at the pictures and relived each and every upgrade and improvement.  I have rifled through all the receipts and clearly remember the debates we had over color selections or material choices. 

And now this home that has been my cocoon for almost two years since he died will be handed over to a new family in a few short weeks. 

When the buyers scheduled their second viewing, I was out of town and thankfully was sitting in my car in a parking lot.  I cried uncontrollably.  Then a few weeks later when an offer was submitted, again I cried.  The other day when the final acceptance was completed, I broke down and cried hysterically.

Our youngest daughter moved out in December to her own place.  I'm so very proud of her taking the leap, but honestly it broke my heart to see her go.  And now my sister is moving out this weekend to her own place.  That leaves me here all alone until April 16 to pack the PODS with stuff.  I don't want the stuff.  I want him back and I want the life back we had together.  I'd give up all the stuff in a heartbeat just to have him back.

Sadly, I don't have a plan on where I am going.  Haven't a clue.  So the stuff will go to storage and I will go.......hell, I don't know where I'll go.  But I have a dog and two cats that need a home as well.  So I better figure something out, and quickly, too.  If only Wade were here; we would be having a great time planning out our future.  Instead, I spend my time lost in memories as I pack them away in boxes.

2 comments:

I'm so sorry to read this. It is tough ... well toughter than tough to leave your last home together, and yes ... when the time goes for me to leave here, the place that his hands built walls in, an extension, a new bathroom which was a labour of love just for me really ... I too will sob.

I know "stuff" and "places" aren't where they are, but still ... very hard to do.

Keep us posted on what you do decide upon and I hope that your new home becomes home to you in time xxx

April 2, 2011 at 8:44 AM  

I can't even imagine the grief you're feeling, because I am fortunate to still have my life partner. She is the period at the end of my sentence. I just pray that you find a way to get through this and go on with your life. The quote in your profile "Keep your loved one in your heart and not on your mind" makes absolute perfect sense to me. God bless you and may He keep you...

August 12, 2011 at 12:47 PM  

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