Lonesome Dove

Its been said that there are several events in one's life that create a great deal of stress.  Death of a spouse would certainly rank at the top of the list.....check
Losing a job......check
Change in financial situation....check. 
Children leaving home.....check.
Relocating.....check.

Yep, the house is sold.  And it is breaking my heart.  This home has so very much of Wade in it, everywhere I look I see his handy work.  I remember every single project that we did together.  I've looked at the pictures and relived each and every upgrade and improvement.  I have rifled through all the receipts and clearly remember the debates we had over color selections or material choices. 

And now this home that has been my cocoon for almost two years since he died will be handed over to a new family in a few short weeks. 

When the buyers scheduled their second viewing, I was out of town and thankfully was sitting in my car in a parking lot.  I cried uncontrollably.  Then a few weeks later when an offer was submitted, again I cried.  The other day when the final acceptance was completed, I broke down and cried hysterically.

Our youngest daughter moved out in December to her own place.  I'm so very proud of her taking the leap, but honestly it broke my heart to see her go.  And now my sister is moving out this weekend to her own place.  That leaves me here all alone until April 16 to pack the PODS with stuff.  I don't want the stuff.  I want him back and I want the life back we had together.  I'd give up all the stuff in a heartbeat just to have him back.

Sadly, I don't have a plan on where I am going.  Haven't a clue.  So the stuff will go to storage and I will go.......hell, I don't know where I'll go.  But I have a dog and two cats that need a home as well.  So I better figure something out, and quickly, too.  If only Wade were here; we would be having a great time planning out our future.  Instead, I spend my time lost in memories as I pack them away in boxes.